You know something that’s really, really awesome? I finally feel at peace with food. I’m not worrying about when or what I’m going to eat. I can go to parties and restaurants without stressing over what there will be to eat. I look forward to eating meals, but I don’t obsess over them for hours beforehand.
I think a big reason is because I haven’t been using Instagram. I still post on occasion, but I rarely scroll through my feed. I follow a lot of those ED recovery accounts that post every single meal they eat. I found that I compared what I was eating to what they were eating. Not good! Now that I’m not seeing what/when they eat, I’m being more intuitive with what I want to eat. And it’s awesome.
I still want to write my whole story of struggling with an ED. I just didn’t want to write it if I was still having problems, but now I feel like I’m truly at peace with food and I’m going to try to write that post!
Enough rambling! Time for my eats since it is What I Ate Wednesday!
On Monday I had zero appetite (at least until dinner!). Some days you just feel bloated, you know? In the past I would’ve struggled with eating breakfast and lunch because I wasn’t physically “hungry”. It wasn’t even a problem yesterday because I know that I need to fuel myself, even if I don’t feel hungry. I take that as an opportunity to eat healthy!
Breakfast
OOIAPBJ (overnight oats in a peanut butter jar). I topped them with more peanut butter because there wasn’t enough left in the jar. Something I wouldn’t have done in the past.
Lunch
Big veggie sandwich with avocado, black beans, tomato, mushroom, and kale + an apple. It was actually really hard to finish this because I felt so full!
Snack
A few of the nuts from the lunch picture + a piece of leftover rhubarb scone. Note: the scones are much better the day of. They got a bit soggy from the rhubarb!
Dinner
Monday was my brother Evan’s birthday! 8 whole years old. Makes my ripe old age of 15 feel pretty ancient. Here we have sloppy joes (with pulled pork under it!), baked beans, cheesy potatoes, coleslaw, potato salad, and carrots. times 2. No vegetarian for me.
Sloppy joes, I’m sorry. The 9 years I refused to eat you were a waste. Never again will I refuse your scrumptious mess.
Birthday boy!
The cake was actually pretty nasty. I don’t like that fake fruity filling. I picked that out and just ate the cake and ice cream! I had a nice food baby the rest of the night. Worth it.
Heyyy girl! I’ve missed you! Its sounds like you’re doing excellent. I’m so glad you have found peace with food! Your food looks wonderful and happy birthday to your little brother! He is so cute. 🙂
Alex@Veggin’ Out recently posted…WIAW – I’m Back!
Hey Alex! Miss you too -hope all is well!! It’s amazing to be at peace with food 🙂 I’ll tell him you said that!
So proud of you for coming so far girlie! Food is meant to be enjoyed, and I’m so glad you are letting yourself enjoy it now. Too much time and energy can be wasted when ED thoughts take over. You’re doing wonderfully! Happy birthday to your brother 🙂 And 15 sounds wayyyy young to me considering I’m pushing 22!
xoxo
Yes – SO much time & energy wasted on food. I’m glad to have a life back! That’s crazy – Evan and I are almost the same age apart as you and me!!
yes i have a little brother and ehs 8 too!!!! and 2 older sisters 🙂 i like homemade cake that way i can make it exactly the way i like it! cant wait for the post as yours are always great 🙂 love this post (never had a sloppy joe haha)
I agree, homemade cake is wayyy better! I can’t believe you’ve never had a sloppy joe!
haha, fruit definitely doesn’t belong in cake! 🙂 Happy birthday to your brother! I have three sisters, a sister-in-law, and a brother – three of their birthdays are coming up soon too!
Lauren @ Will Run for Boston recently posted…“I Run…”
A sister is something I always wanted! I don’t know about three though. I bet it was crazy with all of you getting ready in the mornings!
Homemade cake is 10x better than store bougt! I know some moms who make make the most delicious cake ever!
Chickgettinfit recently posted…WIAW #20–Same Old, Same Old
Mmmm… I love cake haha!
YAY for food freedom! Isn’t it awesome?! You are awesome girl, and I have to agree with Instagram – now that I’ve been backing down for a few weeks, I’m definitely comparing less.
PS – overnight oats for the win. And I always add an extra bit of nut butter after I snap pictures or if I run out! Haha!
Love ya girly!
Jess @ Story of a Girl recently posted…Five Things Friday
Your meals always look so good in IG!!! Overnight oats, always. You can never have too much nut butter!
Love ya too 🙂
Awe Evan is so cute! Happy bday to him!!! Mine is tomorrow 😉 Hehe I feel olddd
Sunnie@ModernGirlNutrition recently posted…Chocolate Covered Strawberry Smoothie and Weekend Snapshots
HAPPY (almost) BDAY SUNNIE!! I hope your day is as wonderful as you 🙂
I don’t post all my meals on Instagram for this very reason! Every person needs a different amount of food, and even thouhg I know this, I’m so quick to compare. It’s so easy to feel insecure when scrolling through Instagram, so I completely feel you. I let food dictate my life for SO long, and living in peace with food is one of the greatest feelings in the world. It feels like you’ve been released from this cycle where food was the only important aspect of your life. Eating to live instead of living to eat has made a HUGE difference in my life! I’m so glad you’ve found your piece of freedom! And adding extra peanut butter to those OOIAJ was completely necessary. The little things like that are what make food enjoyable and life worthwhile!
And tell Evan happy birthday! I turn 18 in October, so I’m suddenly feeling SO old. I love his cake! My older brother (who is 20 now, oh my gosh!) played baseball for most of his life (and still does), so I have such a soft spot for the sport. Your brother is SO cute! The fruity cake filling? Not so much. I’ll have to agree with you on that one. Plain cake for me please. You gotta do what you gotta do when it comes to fruit fillings, and eating around it was a wise choice my friend 🙂
katherine recently posted…The Official PB Lover’s Beach Reading List!
It really is one of the best feelings in the world! I could say that I wish it never happened at all, but that wouldn’t be true. If I hadn’t struggled with an ED, I wouldn’t have developed a love for fruits & veggies, I would still eat junk, and I wouldn’t have started a blog and met all of you wonderful girls!!
I am so glad that you are at a good place with food 😀 That is so awesome, Leigha! <3
Liz @ Carpe Diem and Run recently posted…Monday Miles #18
It is amazing:) hope you are doing well too!
Leigha, this is really inspiring!! 🙂 I am really trying to find the healthy balance that you’ve found. Last night the dietitian upped my meal plan, and I had REAL peanut butter, a full tablespoon, for the first time in a long long time. I really hope you can write your ED story, because I would love to read it. I love blogs like yours that promote a healthy balance. I agree that instagram can put us into the comparison trap. I would like to try to begin to separate myself from it. Anyways, I am so happy you have found a (delicious and nutritious!) balance. 🙂
Emily @smilemilegirl recently posted…Scales are for Fishes
I really hope you find your balance, Emily!! I have no doubt that you’ll get though this. YAY for peanut butter!!! That’s so exciting! I probably eat around 4 tbsp a day.. no joke 🙂 I’m always here if you need someone to talk to!
Hey girl!
So glad to hear 🙂 you are doing awesome and so proud of you! I love your blog and you! Have a great day! Xoxox
Bethany recently posted…Favorite Protein Smoothie
HEY BETHANY! So excited you finally have a blog!! Thank you 🙂 love you too!
This is fabulous! So proud of you for conquering those food-based fears and developing such a healthy relationship with food. I totally feel you on how difficult Instagram can make it… watching what other people eat / when they eat all day long can be very stressful and it’s hard not to compare yourself. I would love to read more about your ED recovery when you are ready to share. And I can’t believe you’re only 15!! Congrats on such a fabulous and successful blog at such a young age. And I thought I was young!!!! (I’m 23). Xo
Jordan @ The Blonde Vegan recently posted…What I Ate Wednesday: Photo Shoot Style
Awww, thank you so much Jordan! That means a ton coming from you!! 🙂 I really want to share my story – not just for me, but because it will hopefully help someone else who is struggling too.
So, so proud of you, girl! I feel like there’s a quasi-recovered stage where we think, “Oh yeah, I’m comfortable with all foods now,” when we’re really not. Then there’s this wonderful “food freedom” stage where you just KNOW that you finally have a good relationship with food again. I mean, of course you gotta add the extra nut butter if there isn’t enough! 😉
Some store-bought cakes are delicious, but homemade is the way to go!
Sloppy Joes are also the best.
Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves recently posted…Behind the Scenes #22: Lame High School Seniors
EXACTLY. It’s almost like we’re tricking ourselves that we’re recovered when in reality we’re not at all! It’s like something just clicked… I feel so good about food right now. It’s awesome. Hope you’re doing as well too 🙂 <3
Your little brother is adorable! You two definitely resemble each other a little bit :). I like homemade cake and cake from a box, but not store bought and made cake.. if that makes sense?! I am with you on sloppy joes, too. I used to hate them. Now I’m like “What was I thinking?!” haha.
Allie recently posted…Doing logical things
I know exactly what you mean! Cake mixes are really good, even though they’re not technically “real” – but store bought are just plain gross!
I’m so happy your in a better place with food now. I’m still trying to find mine. Some days are better than others and I think I’m fine, but then you have an off day that sort of throws you for a loop. It’s a constant work in progress! Can’t wait to hear your story 🙂
Molly@This Life is Sparkling recently posted…Five Things Friday
For sure, some days are better than others. What’s important is that the good outweigh the bad!!